“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office…but she belonged to someone else…

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you…” but the girl said, “NO.”

Johnny said, “I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up.”

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend… so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says ask him for $200 then pick up the money very fast… he won’t even be able to get his pants down.

She agrees and accepts the proposal.

Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened…She said, “The bastard used quarters…….!”

If you want more Hilarious Jokes check out Funny Truth About Toothbrush Discovery

Or some Sexy Videos like Another Funny Cats Videos Stuff

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.

A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
“Hey buddy, Why the Long Face”

Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.

Q. What’s pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

Q. What’s blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it’s breath

Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other “God it’s hot in here”
The other one replies “Oh no… It’s a talking muffin”

What do you call a woman with one leg?
- Ilene

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?
- Matt

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
- Bob

What did the left nut say to the right nut?
The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard!

What do you call an anorexic with thrush?
A quarter pounder with cheese!

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Cause he was caught with seaweed.

WHAT DID THE GHOST SAY TO THE BEE?
BOO-BEE

Whats best about shagging Twenty – Eight year olds?
There is Twenty of them!

How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?
Give the bitch a shovel

The fight we had last night was my fault,
my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.

Boys are like parking spaces the good ones are take-in!!!!