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Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office…but she belonged to someone else…

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you…” but the girl said, “NO.”

Johnny said, “I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up.”

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend… so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.
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There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.

A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
“Hey buddy, Why the Long Face”

Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.

Q. What’s pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

Q. What’s blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it’s breath

Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other “God it’s hot in here”
The other one replies “Oh no… It’s a talking muffin”

What do you call a woman with one leg?
- Ilene
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