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Funny Stuff On How A Bad Day Starts

If any of these Funny Stuff occurs, you just know your going to have a very bad day. I hope these will make you laugh. Enjoy…

  • The worst player on the golf course wants to play you for money.
  • You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.
  • You realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.
  • You discover that your 12-year-old’s idea of humor is putting crazy glue in your Preparation H.
  • You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
  • Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
  • You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
  • You call your answering service and they tell you it’s none of your business.
  • Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
  • You need one bathroom scale for each foot.
  • Nothing you own is actually paid for.
  • Your mother approves of the person you are dating.

  • You have to borrow from your VISA to pay off your MASTERCARD.
  • You realize that you have memorized the back of your cereal box.
  • Everyone loves your driver’s license picture.
  • Your kids start treating you the same way you treated your parents.
  • You look out the window of the airplane and the Goodyear Blimp is gaining on you.
  • The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
  • People think you are 40…and you really are.
  • Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
  • Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
  • Your income tax refund check bounces.
  • It costs more to fill up your car with gas than it did to buy it.
  • The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
  • You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
  • You put both contacts into the same eye.
  • Your doctor tells you that you’re allergic to chocolate.
  • The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.
  • People think that you’re 40 and you’re only 25.
  • When the doctor tells you you’re in fine health for someone twice your age.

  • You call your spouse and tell them that you’d like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch.
  • Everyone is laughing but you.
  • You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
  • You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren’t any.
  • You get a rejection notice from the HUMOR Listserver saying that you’re no longer funny
  • Your doctor tells you, “Well, I have bad news and good news…”
  • You open the paper and find your picture under a caption that reads: “WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!”
  • You wake up face down on the pavement You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
  • You put your bra on backwards and it fits better
  • Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles
  • Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business
  • You want to put on the clothes you wore home from last night’s party – and there aren’t any
  • You turn on the news and they’re showing emergency routes out of the city
  • You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke and then realize that you don’t have a waterbed
  • Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell’s Angels on the freeway
  • You see the “60 Minutes” News Team waiting in your Office
  • Your boss tells you not to bother to take off you coat
  • You walk to work and discover that your dress is tucked in the back of your pantyhose
  • Your kid say “Did you know that it’s almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet?”

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    This entry was posted on Sunday, February 3rd, 2008 at 12:19 am and is filed under Funny Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

    5 Responses to “Funny Stuff On How A Bad Day Starts”

    1. Things I’m Grateful For » Blog Archive » Things I’m Grateful For on Monday 4 February says:
      February 4, 2008 at 2:03 pm

      [...] This list, found via this blog. [...]

    2. Solomon Broad says:
      February 4, 2008 at 4:12 pm

      Is “Your twin sister forgets your birthday.” supposed to be in the list twice?

    3. Sandra says:
      February 4, 2008 at 6:37 pm

      @ Solomon
      Nope I probably missed it when I was deleting doubles. Thanx 4 the info.

      =)

    4. Eve says:
      February 4, 2008 at 11:45 pm

      Funny list. I found you from Solomon’s website. Glad I followed the link.

    5. Sandra says:
      February 4, 2008 at 11:50 pm

      Thank you Eve
      =)

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