Funny Stuff On How A Bad Day Starts
If any of these Funny Stuff occurs, you just know your going to have a very bad day. I hope these will make you laugh. Enjoy…The worst player on the golf course wants to play you for money.You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.You realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.You discover that your 12-year-old’s idea of humor is putting crazy glue in your Preparation H.You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.You wake up and your braces are stuck together.You call your answering service and they tell you it’s none of your business.Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.You need one bathroom scale for each foot.Nothing you own is actually paid for.Your mother approves of the person you are dating.
You have to borrow from your VISA to pay off your MASTERCARD.You realize that you have memorized the back of your cereal box.Everyone loves your driver’s license picture.Your kids start treating you the same way you treated your parents.You look out the window of the airplane and the Goodyear Blimp is gaining on you.The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.People think you are 40…and you really are.Your twin sister forgets your birthday.Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.Your income tax refund check bounces.It costs more to fill up your car with gas than it did to buy it.The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.You wake up and your braces are stuck together.You put both contacts into the same eye.Your doctor tells you that you’re allergic to chocolate.The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.People think that you’re 40 and you’re only 25.When the doctor tells you you’re in fine health for someone twice your age.You call your spouse and tell them that you’d like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch.Everyone is laughing but you.You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren’t any.You get a rejection notice from the HUMOR Listserver saying that you’re no longer funnyYour doctor tells you, “Well, I have bad news and good news…”You open the paper and find your picture under a caption that reads: “WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!”You wake up face down on the pavement You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.You put your bra on backwards and it fits betterYour birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candlesYour son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own businessYou want to put on the clothes you wore home from last night’s party – and there aren’t anyYou turn on the news and they’re showing emergency routes out of the cityYou wake up to discover that your waterbed broke and then realize that you don’t have a waterbedYour horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell’s Angels on the freewayYou see the “60 Minutes” News Team waiting in your OfficeYour boss tells you not to bother to take off you coatYou walk to work and discover that your dress is tucked in the back of your pantyhoseYour kid say “Did you know that it’s almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet?”
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