Funny Alphabet According To Old People in Funny Stuff
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- A‘s for arthritis
- B‘s for bad back
- C‘s for the chest pains.
- D is for dental decay and decline
- E is for eyesight – can’t read that top line
- F is for fissures and fluid retention
- G is for gas (which I’d rather not mention)
- And other gastrointestinal glitches
- H is high blood pressure
- I is for itches
- J is for joints that are failing to flex
- L‘s for libido – what happened to sex?
- Wait! I forgot about K for bad knees
- (I’ve got a few gaps in my M-memory)
- N‘s for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis
- O is for osteo-
- P‘s for porosis
- Q is for queasiness. Fatal? Just flu?
- R is for reflux–one meal becomes two
- S is for sleepless nights counting my fears
- T is for tinnitus – bells in my ears
- U is for difficulties urinary
- V is for vertigo
- W is worry
- About what the X – as in X ray – will find
But through the word “terminal” rushes to mind,
I’m proud, as each
- Y – year – goes by, to reveal
A reservoir of undiminished
- Z – zeal – For checking the symptoms my body’s deployed
And keeping my twenty-six doctors employed.
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