Funny Stuff Videos

Funny Condom Slogans In Funny Stuff

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1) Cover your stump before you hump
2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3) Don’t be silly, protect your Willie
4) When in doubt shroud you spout
5) Don’t be a loner, cover your boner
6) You can’t go wrong, if you shield your dong
7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it
If you think she’s spunky, cover your monkey
9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize
11) She won’t get sick if you wrap your dick
12) If you go into heat, package your meat
13) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis
14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse
15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker
17) Don’t be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18) The right selection, is to protect your erection
19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil
20) A crank with armor, will never harm her
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Bizarre and Funny Stuff About The Earth

• In 1783 an Icelandic eruption threw up enough dust to temporarily block out the sun over Europe.

• About 20 to 30 volcanoes erupt each year, mostly under the sea.

• A huge underground river runs underneath the Nile, with six times more water than the river above.

• Lake Bosumtwi in Ghana formed in a hollow made by a meteorite.

• Beaver Lake, in Yellowstone Park, USA, was artificially created by beaver damming.

• Off the coast of Florida there is an underwater hotel. Guests have to dive to the entrance.

• Venice in Italy is built on 118 sea islets joined by 400 bridges. It is gradually sinking into the water.

• The Ancient Egyptians worshipped a sky goddess called Nut.

• The world’s windiest place is Commonwealth Bay, Antartica.

• In 1934, a gust of wind reached 371 km/h on Mount Washington in New Hampshire, USA.

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Funny Rejected Hallmark Greeting Cards in Funny Stuff

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So your daughter’s a hooker,
and it spoiled your day…
Look at the bright side,
she’s a really good lay.

My tire was thumping….
I thought it was flat….
when I looked at the tire….
I noticed your cat… Sorry

You had your bladder removed
and you’re on the mends….
here’s a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends.

You’ve announced that you’re gay,
won’t that be a laugh,
when they find out you’re one
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
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Funny Alphabet According To Old People in Funny Stuff

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• A’s for arthritis

• B’s for bad back

• C’s for the chest pains.

• D is for dental decay and decline

• E is for eyesight – can’t read that top line

• F is for fissures and fluid retention

• G is for gas (which I’d rather not mention)

• And other gastrointestinal glitches

• H is high blood pressure

• I is for itches

• J is for joints that are failing to flex

• L’s for libido – what happened to sex?

• Wait! I forgot about K for bad knees

• (I’ve got a few gaps in my M-memory)

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Funny Stuff You Don’t Want To Hear During The Surgery in Funny Stuff

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# Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
# I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.
# Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
# Someone call the janitor! We’re going to need a mop!
# Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
# Ya’ know… there’s big money in kidneys… and this guy’s got two of ‘em.
# Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
# Don’t tell me you forgot to bring the anatomy book!
# Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
# Damn! There go the lights again…
# What’s this doing here?
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Funny Stuff To Do When You Are Bored At Work in Funny Stuff

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At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Insist that your email address begins with ‘xena-warrior-princess’ or ‘elvis-the-king’.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write “FOR SEXUAL FAVORS”.

Finish all your sentences with, “In accordance with the prophecy.”

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”.

Sing along at the opera.
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