Funny Stuff Adults Can Learn From Children in Funny Stuff

Check out some Super Funny Stuff

* There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
* If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
* A 4-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
* If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
* It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20-by-20-foot room
* Baseballs make marks on ceilings
* You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on
* When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit
* A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way
* The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan
* When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh”, it’s already too late
* Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it
* A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day

* A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says it can only be done in the movies
* If you use a water-bed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes
* A king-size water-bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep
* Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old… Duplos will not
* Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence
* Super glue is forever
* McGyver can teach us many things we don’t want to know
* Ditto Tarzan
* No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water
* Pool filters do not like Jell-O
* VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do
* Garbage bags do not make good parachutes
* Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving
* You probably do not want to know what that odor is
* Always look in the oven before you turn it on
* Plastic toys do not like ovens
* The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time
* The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy
* It will, however, make cats dizzy
* Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy
* Quiet does not necessarily mean don’t worry
* A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, usually in retrospect)
* Most toilets cannot consume an entire roll of toilet paper without choking
* 2:00 AM is not a good time to hear, “Daddy, diapers don’t flush!”
* No time is a good time to hear, “Daddy, your tires are ‘hisssssing.’”
* You never want to hear, “Watch me fly!” coming from the roof
* Nor do you want to hear, “Your new cell phone doesn’t work underwater.”
* Driveway seal coating and children DO NOT MIX!
* Never light fireworks inside
* Under the bed is not a good place to save snowballs for summer
* Daddy’s shoe is not a good home for a pet tarantula
* Hiding uneaten vegetables in daddy’s shoes is not good
* Bugs are not a dietary supplement
* Walnuts make the blender act funny
* Scissors and hair are often a dangerous combination
* Collecting things is good
* Collecting things that come out of your nose is not
* Eating string is a bad hobby
* Discovering string the next day is a disgusting hobby
* Finger painting is good
* Cats do not like to be wrapped in duct tape
* Cats get even
* Finger painting walls is dangerous
* If you hear the words, “Can ya eat a lizard’s tail?” it’s too late
* If you hear the words, “Guess what’s in my hands?” you don’t want to know
* If you hear the words, “Guess what’s in my mouth”, you REALLY don’t want to know
* “Fan” and “flour” should never be heard in the same sentence
* The toilet does not make a permanent fish aquarium
* Any sentence which contains the word “Oooops” is bad
* Any sentence beginning with, “How much do you love me?” means “prepare for bad news”
* Throwing daddy’s wallet in the trash compactor can change his mood
* Opening all 24 of daddy’s cans of beer is a bad idea
* Hiding parts of daddy’s computer can make your butt hurt
* Lipstick on the TV screen changes mommy’s mood
* Fish cannot use a remote control, even if it’s placed in their tank
* “Why do fish float?” means trouble
* Any sentence beginning with, “When [your pet's name] dies…” is never a good sign
* Setting the hamsters free changes the cat’s mood

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