Funny Stuff

Funny Hungry Kitten in Sexy Videos

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Funny Question For The Teacher in Hilarious Jokes

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The teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”

She calls on one little boy.

He stands up and replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”

The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then the boy says, “I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
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Funny Things That Make You Wanna Go To Jail in Funny Stuff

Sometimes Jail does sound better, right?

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IN PRISON…they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK…you can’t even speak to your family.

IN PRISON…you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK…you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON…the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK…you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON…you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK … you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON…you get three meals a day.
AT WORK…you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON…you get time off for good behavior
AT WORK…you get more work for good behavior
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Funny Sandwitch Problem in Hilarious Jokes

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A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken sandwich.

He said, “Hey, how come you’re not eating chicken, don’t you like it anymore?”

She said “I love it but I have to stop eating it.”

“Why?” he asked.

She pointed to her lap and said “Cause I’m starting to grow little feathers down there!”

“Let me see” he said.

“Okay” and she pulled up her skirt.

He looked and said, “That’s right. You are! ? Better not eat any more chicken.”
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Funny Movie Computers in Funny Stuff

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• Word processors never display a cursor.

• You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.

• Movie character never make typing mistakes.

• If a disk has got encrypted files, you are asked for a password when you try to access it.

• All monitors display inch-high letters.

• A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

• Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

• Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY Supercomputer.

• People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.

• High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces. Those that don’t, have incredibly powerful text-bases command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain english. Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing “ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES” on any keyboard. You can also infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing “UPLOAD VIRUS” (see “Fortress”)

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Funny Idol Contestants in Sexy Videos

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Funny Introduction To The World Of Engineers in Funny Stuff

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Social Skills
Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. “Normal” people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction:

• Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation.

• Important social contacts.

• A feeling of connectedness with other humans.

Unlike normal people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions:

• Get it over with as soon as possible.

• Avoid getting invited to something very unpleasant.

• Demonstrate your mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

Fascination With Gadgets
To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories:

• Things that need to be fixed.

• Things that will need fixing after you finish playing with them.

Engineers love solving problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own. Normal people of course don’t understand this concept. They believe that the thing isn’t broken, there is no need to fix it. On the other hand engineers believe that if it’s not broken yet, it doesn’t have enough features.
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Funny Surgeon Talk in Hilarious Jokes

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Five surgeons were discussing their work on their lunch break one day.

“I think accountants are the easiest to operate on,” said the first one. “You open them up and everything inside is numbered.”

“I think librarians are the easiest to operate on,” said the second. “You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.”

“I like to operate on electricians,” said the third surgeon. “You open them up and everything inside is color-coded.”

“I like to operate on lawyers,” said the fourth. “They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their asses are interchangeable.”
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Funny Raccoon Stealing Doormat in Sexy Videos

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Conan O’Brien quotes in Funny Quotes

“In a recent survey, 86 percent of college fraternity members admitted that they’ve had at least five drinks in a row. The other 4 percent were out cold.”

“Michael Bolton said yesterday he now wants to become an opera singer. Which is great, because now my Dad and I can hate the same kind of music.”

“Eighty-three percent of Britons say they forgive Princess Di for her infidelity. Apparently, the other 7 percent have never gotten a good look at Prince Charles.”

“That man who posed as a woman during a /2 year marriage was sentenced yesterday to a one-year jail term. Something tells me his days of acting like a woman are not quite over.”

“It’s been reported that John Bobbitt’s porno movie grossed over 10 million. I’m not sure whether that’s dollars or people.”

“The price of Prozac went up 50 percent last year. When Prozac users were asked about it, they said, ‘Whatever.’”
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