Funny Stuff You Should Never Say To A Police Officer in Funny Stuff

• I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
• Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
• Aren’t you the guy from the villiage people?
• I know the limit’s 50km per hour, but I wasn’t going to be out that long.
• Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
• “Routine check, huh? Well, as long as you’re checking things, why don’t you take a look under the hood? The car was making noises when I hit 140.”
• I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
• I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
• You’re not going to check the trunk, are you?
• When the Officer says “Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?” You probably shouldn’t respond with, “Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”
• Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.
• Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?

• Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend’s night stand.
• Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds.
• I pay your salary.
• Want a hit?
• Dude- I know my rights- I read all about how to get out of tickets online!
• So uh, you on the take or what?
• Gee officer, that’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
• Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
• “Occifer, I’m almost drunk enough to sleep with you. Grab me that beer in my back seat and I’ll forget how ugly you are.”
• I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that’s how far they are ahead of me.
• What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
• Hey, is that a 9mm? That’s nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
• When the cop asks you if you are carrying any firearms in your vehicle do not ask “What do you need?”
• Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
• Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

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