Funny Things That Tell You You’re in California in Funny Stuff

• Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.
• You make over $250,000 and still can’t afford a house.
• You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
• Your child’s 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
• You can’t remember…is pot illegal?
• You’ve been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
• You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
• You also know which Brentwood restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
• A really great parking space can move you to tears.
• A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
• Gas cost $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
• A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don’t even notice.

• A woman gets on the bus with live poultry. You don’t even notice.
• Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney actually IS George Clooney.
• Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
• The gym is packed at 3 PM…. On a work day.
• You have to ! leave the big company meeting early because Billy Banks himself is teaching the 4:00pm Tae Bo class.
• Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
• It’s sprinkling and there’s a report on every news station about “STORM WATCH 99,” You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
• Your paperboy has a two-picture deal.
• You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
• You AND your dog have therapists.
• It’s sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
• The Terminator is your new governor.
• Hey!!!! Is pot illegal?

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