Funny Quotes By Robin Williams

(b. 1952) - American Oscar winning actor.

Spielberg is so powerful he had final cut at his own circumsision.Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

[Before opening an envelope for best supporting actress]
I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, `Back up, I don’t know how big this gets`
– (at the 71st Academy Awards)

[on Michael Jackson]
Honey, you gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you’re a black man, then you’re Diana Ross, now you’re Audrey Hepburn. Then he’s got the little beard going on. He’s like Lord Of The Rings, the entire cast. Michael’s about to jump species.

Ah…so many pedestrians, so little time…

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
– (from Mork and Mindy)

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.

When the media ask him (George Bush) a question, he answers, ‘Can I use a lifeline?’

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

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