Funny Coffee Addiction
In Funny Stuff for today here’s some Funny Quotes on coffee addiction. Now, I’m not really a coffee lover but this photo has something, and this Funny Stuff really made me laugh. I hope it’ll do the same for you. Enjoy…
You think CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”
You think Columbia would be a great vacation destination!
You’re passing everybody on the freeway when you suddenly realize: you left your car at home!
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You have a bumper sticker that says: “Coffee drinkers are good in the sack.”
You answer the door before people knock.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You’ve worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
All your kids are named “Joe.”
You don’t need a hammer to pound in nails.
Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”
You buy milk by the barrel.
You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
You’ve worn the finish off your coffee table.
The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.
You’re so wired, you pick up FM radio.
People can test their batteries in your ears.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
You’d be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
You’re offended when people use the word “brew” to mean beer.
You get drunk just so you can sober up.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
Your Thermos is on wheels.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You don’t get mad, you get steamed.
You can’t even remember your second cup.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
When someone ask, “How are you?” … you reply: “Good to the last drop.”
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit.
You’re the employee of the month at Starbucks and you don’t even work there.
The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
Your so jittery that people use your hands to shake paint cans.
Cocaine is a downer.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
When you call radio talk shows, they ask you to turn yourself down.
Your life goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”
You’re up to four heart attacks a day.
Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyd’s of London.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You lick your coffee pot clean.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
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This entry was posted
on Saturday, February 2nd, 2008 at 3:38 am and is filed under Funny Stuff.
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haha Those crack me up.